The world hasn't ended yet...

The City of Casey put on great Christmas fireworks.
But nothing for New Year!

Because it wouldn't be New Year without a 'the year it was' type post...

I'm one of those people who get a little sentimental about things, particularly around this time of year. I always struggle on New Years Eve thinking that the date changing means a time of letting go. Last year I felt like this as 2012 was going to be the biggest, life changing year ever, and it has definitely proven to do so. And so now, I feel like I have to 'let go' of 2012, and part of me feels sad. Also, 13 is a crappy number. 1 + 3 = 4. No, I'm not Chinese. Really.

I always like to do something 'significant' at New Year, but this year, with Luke in tow, it looks like a quiet one! Luckily our neighbours have saved us - and we will be welcoming in the new year with some of our closest mates!

Anyway, one of the biggest things for me this year has been having this blog. It has helped me to process my new life, and also given me space to write. Without tearing up, I would like to thank you, dear reader, for reading and supporting me this year.

Here are the biggest moments this year:

- I welcomed in the New Year at home
- Got crafty
- Nested like there was no tomorrow. Like a crazy woman.
- Struggled through the third trimester, and admitted that it was the hardest thing I've ever had to go through.
- Had our last Valentines Day as 'just the two of us'.
- Kept a tradition of pancakes every Saturday morning.
- I deactivated Facebook for a month. And it felt good.
- Shopped at Coles. A lot.
- Went to a High Tea. Went into labour that evening. Met a good looking student doctor. 2 days later I fell in love all over again when I met my little boy, Luke!
- Had my first MOTHERS DAY!!!
- Visited the neighbours and gave them cake.
- Waited for the day until Luke slept through the night. 9 months on I'm still waiting...
- Discovered that I actually really liked breast-feeding more than I thought I would. 9 months on I'm still feeding...
- Advocated recycling in Victoria
- Admitted I am a control freak. And I still am struggling to let this go daily.
- Rethought my career.
- Experienced my first earthquake!
- Joined a mothers group. More than one.
- Lived through the winter season barely getting a cold.
- Fought for Indonesian studies. And I'm so excited about the Asian Century. Onya, Julia!
- Took Luke on his first plane trip. And my first ever little plane to the middle of nowhere Mildura.
- Bought got given a Sewing Machine. Learnt to sew.
- Made Luke eat from a bowl.
- Celebrated Hendrik's first birthday as a Dad, as Luke released his first book. Hendrik also had his first fathers day.
- Came to (still coming to) terms that life is different now.
- Fell in love with a gorgeous smile, as did everyone around me.
- Had my Sister in law & her husband visit.
- Watched the Kath & Kim movie in my Pyjamas. At Fountain Gate.
- Cleaned the laundry.
- Started to 'Luke proof' the kitchen. I still have lots to do.
- Became Michelle's Patisserie's favorite customer. Ok, well, Luke did.
- Discovered the terrible business of shopping centre childrens photos.
- Went to Jakarta with a stop over in Bali. And vowed never to fly Air Asia again.
- Survived our first Christmas in Melbourne!

And now, what is in store for 2013? I'd love to loose weight, but I'm not going to write that here and jinx myself. I want to keep learning, and I want to keep loving. I want to make plans and stick to them. I want to work out what I'm really going to do with my career but keep family as number one. I'm looking forward to things as well - like Luke being one, more travel to Indonesia, more blogging, getting a better phone, watching Once Upon A Time, making Pinterest pins come into fruition, and learning how to be a blessing to those around me.

To leave you this year, I'll post you this photo of my boy. Have a good one, and all the best for the new year, my loved, fellow readers!

Have yourself a stressful little Christmas?

Some may say Christmas in Jakarta
is commercialised... But at least they
have pretty decorations.

"I hate this time of year," says most of the people I meet.

I did most of my Christmas shopping before I left for Jakarta because I knew that this week would be crazy. I've already been to Fountain Gate twice and the atmosphere there is anything but joyful and merry. Christmas can bring out the best in people, but a lot of the time it brings out the worst.

And then it gets me thinking, why do we do this to ourselves? Why do we stress over Christmas when there's supposed to be a deeper meaning? Why do I stress that I haven't got 'enough' for someone, like it becomes a matching game of monetary value. What will we eat? What will I wear? Christmas cards. Christmas letters. Family traditions. I haven't got time. Stress, stress, stress.

Whether you believe that Jesus is the reason for the season or not, I'm sure you agree this isn't the way it's supposed to be, right?

Five years ago tomorrow (i remember dates) I would have come home from Kendari, a city with one Christmas tree. Seafood was cheap and it was idul adha the day we left. Then I came home and everything was ridiculously expensive, people were stressing over gifts, yet 48 hours before I was in such a different world where this spirit of stress didn't exist.

And so it's a bit similar now. Jakarta has more than one Christmas tree, but Christmas is very much still a religious celebration over anything (remembering that although Indonesia is a Muslim nation, it is a religious nation none the less). There's a hint of Christmas everywhere you go. Even in the hot weather the bajaj driver wears a Christmas hat. But the spirit of stress isn't there. The stresses in a third world country are so much deeper, and different, but the way they resiliently cope with their poverty never ceases to amaze me - something I wish Australians could learn from.

So as I max out my credit card, buying crap for the sake of having it, I then ask myself what this really is all about. I would love to lovingly create christmas presents, my pinterest is full of ideas. But having just spent the last month overseas has hindered this process. Plus, the thought in the back of my mind that is all about what you spend.

In amongst all the stress there has to be deeper meaning, right? I want to love Christmas. I want to hold my son tight as I sing 'silent night' on a picnic rug to the light of a candle at carols by candle light.

And, let's face it. Probably the highlight of the day on the 25th will be watching Luke open cool presents, then playing with the paper it was wrapped in. (Oh, and just for the record, Luke hate's Santa.. Well, the Myer Santa anyway...)

Maybe we can learn something about such simple joy. Let's keep it simple this Christmas, shall we?

Flight mode

Next time, I'm flying Garuda.

Or finding a carrier that doesn't have this crazy midnight flight.

Today/tonight's blog comes from flight DJ 4105. It has been a long day. The sun is just coming up. My iPhone lock, still on Jakarta time says 1:27. That means its 5:27 in Melbourne.

Today, or should I say yesterday, started at 4am with a little boy who refused to sleep. I'm very grateful for my early-bird mother in law who kindly took Luke so we could get some rest.

We decided to do this the cheap way. We got return flights on Virgin (on the way via Perth) to Denpasar, and then AirAsia to Jakarta.

All seemed to go well on the way (apart from being slugged with a rp 60.000 late fee on AirAsia, and my wallowing 'ohhhhh kasihani aku pak... Saya bawa bayi' totally didn't work and made me look like a fool.) but I think when you go TO your destination you're full of excitement. Then when coming home, the realities of work and chores are faced... And then there's the midnight flight.

I'm unimpressed with AirAsia - I have to pay for Luke on a domestic flight, yet he isn't entitled to any extra carry on (every other airline he was). As Hendrik took shirts out of his luggage to make it less than 20kg, I opened up my little shpheel in frustration about how the heck I am supposed to accommodate for my babies needs. My indonesian seems to be better when I'm angry.

The flight was delayed for over an hour. A good 40 minutes of that sitting on the Tarmac. Coming down was painful, I haven't been well in the last few days - which meant my ears felt like they were going to drop off. This is probably because altitude changes pretty dramatically when you fly to Denpasar as the airport is on sea level. I had had my teeth cleaned in the morning at the dentist, and they ached like crazy! It's safe to say Luke and I were both in tears.

I was almost relieved to get on Virgin, which is strange. There's nothing wrong with them - other than they don't fly to Jakarta! It just felt like there was a sense of efficiency, unlike the queue upon queue at Denpasar airport. That said Im lucky I can jump the queue because my son is Indonesian, so we get to go in the Indonesian line, not with the hundreds of tourists (I Fred to know what the airport is like at peak season!)

It was also a relief to be around Australians, that don't ask why my baby cries!

Anyway, the sun is coming up. I'm going to catch some Zs while I can.

I know this blog makes me sound like i hate indonesia, i don't. I just miss the efficiency of things At home (hope im not speaking too soon). Particularly with a young baby in tow. God has taught me so much about patience since being here. Flying with Luke has definitely conquered my fear of flying.

I'm coming, Melbourne.

(flight mode, upload when I touch down)

The Balloon

Upon arrival in Jakarta, I handed Luke to Hendrik so that he could introduce him to his parents (Luke's Grandparents). Luke leaped straight into Popo's (Grandmas) arms as she gave him a big, red, Mickey Mouse balloon that she had bought especially for him. Knowing my devout Chinese mother in law, it had to be red.

Luke loves balloons. How did she know? I could only dream of having balloons like this when I was young.

Days passed. Luke played with the balloon every day. It as full of helium attached to a stone wrapped in plastic by fishing string (which I was admittedly a bit wary of).

Soon, the helium began to deflate. Luke sat outside in his pram overlooking my Mother in Laws collection of various plants including hibiscus and Aloe Vera under the veranda.

I threw the balloon up to the roof of the veranda and it would float back down to Luke slowly. It was the perfect toy. Luke laughed with glee as he caught the balloon. I could get rid of the dangerous string and stone given the little amount of helium inside.

Or so I thought.

I threw the balloon into the air, and it missed the roof. Seeing as it always went back down I didn't feel too concerned.

Up it went. Up, up, up. Luke watched in anticipation for it to come down. so did I.

The red balloon flying above out house

The balloon caught the breeze and began to fly above the car port. Surely it will run out of helium soon, right?

But up it continued. Up, up, up. Luke began to cry as he reached out for the balloon which flew further away from him.

I watched the balloon as it flew past the rooftops of the houses across the street. Maybe my mother in law would catch it on her way home from her morning exercise with her girlfriends? I don't think so. It just kept flying. Up, up, up.

I called Hendrik.

Can YOU see the red speck?

"Say..." (which is short for 'sayang' meaning 'darling') I said, as Luke sobbed beside me. "Can you see that red speck in the sky?"

"Ummm... No." He replied

I moved him to the left. "How about now?"

"No...?" he said, now confused what I was getting at.

"Well, that's Luke's balloon." I confessed.

"WHAT!?"

Maybe we will see it when we fly back to Australia. I felt so guilty letting the balloon go. Would Luke forgive me?

I was playing with Luke on the floor on Saturday morning when I heard a honking noise. I knew it was a seller of some sort as they often come past selling bread, vegetables, bakso, congee and the like. To my surprise, it was a man selling balloons! (A bit like what you see in American movies at the Zoo)

Image not mine

I ran outside and asked the man how much. 10,000 rupiah (one dollar). My father in law told the seller it was too expensive. I wasn't going to argue about what would probably be a 20 cent saving. 10,000 rupiah can buy so much more in Indonesia than it can in Australia. I'm happy to support people who are actively in search of an income in a good way by not stealing or corrupting.

I gave the man the 10,000 rupiah which will probably cover his lunch. I was confused which balloon to buy. The same one? A spongebob? How about Doraemon!

I gave Luke the big blue Doreamon balloon and he smiled. Such little price for a piece of joy and support for another.

Image not mine

Tears in Jakarta

I'm lying here in the light of a streetlight in our complex shining through the window of our upstairs bedroom. I'm finding it hard to sleep because I'm having blogging withdrawals. I'm typing this on my iPhone, but won't be able to publish until I find a hotspot.

I have so much to tell you. We stayed in Bali for just a day. We rushed through the airport and almost missed our flight. They distributed Luke a lifejacket before take off. Nice one, AirAsia!

The new 'budget' terminal in Jakarta is cleaner than Tullamarine. I like.

We have done various things since our arrival. I bought a notebook from Indomaret to 'blog' in until i get a chance to go on a computer, which may not happen until I'm in Melbourne.

Last week was my birthday, and celebrations continued throughout the week. Luke is doing well, but doesn't like the heat. He really needs a hair cut to enable him to better cope with the humidity. We only had a handful of hot days before we left Melbourne, so he didn't really know about hot weather. Winter baby.

It's interesting watching the differences in child raising here compared with back home. I'm really lucky that my Indonesian husband is tolerant of our circumstances in Australia.

This evening we went to the local mall (cos, really, there's not much else to do in Jakarta). Luke has been teething for a while so he gets upset. He began to cry and couldn't be consoled. There are some mothers rooms in malls, but not as many as in australia. We were going to the mothers room so that I could feed him. Breastfeeding in public is not a legal right in Indonesia like it is in Australia.

While going there, Luke was strapped to his pram and crying as we dodged the crowds and made our way to the one and only parents room. Shoppers and shop keepers alike were giving me dirty looks. Why would I let a child cry like that? My objective was to get to the room so I could better console him quickly.

And now I come to think of it, babies don't seem to cry here. Someone is always holding the baby, whether it be a grandparent or maid. If you told the community here about the 'cry it out' methods we have in the west, they would be shocked.

Often when I'm in malls, people always remark on how adorable Luke is because he is 'mixed'. People pull out their blackberries and take photos like he is a celebrity, random old ladies grab him.

We went to a cafe to indulge in my current favourite drink: avocado coffee. Old ladies looked at us disapprovingly and my assumption is because Hendrik helped me out with Luke (so unasian for a bloke to help) and because we had no nanny accommodating our needs.

The hardest thing is, my inlaws house isn't set up for a baby who is now crawling and getting into things (but I don't expect it to be). Someone needs to be with Luke every second, unlike at home where I can leave him to his own devices in his play pen.

We have no option but to co sleep here, which I'm sure is ringing off alarm bells in Australia. As a matter of fact, this is the way in Indonesia, as a crib is a luxury few can afford here. He naps on our bed, which means someone needs to be upstairs with him all the time too, as the floors here are ceramic and I wouldn't like him to fall on them.

We don't have a car seat either. It's another luxury (along with a car) that few Indonesians can have, and as it isn't the law, many don't see the need. We were offered one but Hendrik's car doesn't even have seatbelts so it would be useless.

Luke enjoyed the novelty at first but has since hated not having his own seat and has been difficult to travel with. The other day I suggested we put him in the carrier to travel by car which he has come to love. It's a bit restricting, but so much easier than managing a wriggly worm!

Another interesting observation, children have no set bed time here. Well, it's not like in Australia where the nurse suggested Luke be in bed by 7. Here that would be considered konyol (ridiculous).

He has been here for a week and has gotten to know pohpoh (grandma), kungkung (grandpa) & kuku (auntie) Lina. He's also getting to know his cousins.

It's great to finally show my son the country I fell in love with exactly 10 years to the day he was born. And while Indonesia will never be the same for me again, when we were walking around the complex the other evening and children were playing on the street, I can't wait for us to come again when he's bigger so that he can fall in love too.

Bali time

So it's 5am and I've been up since 4. The lucky part means my body kind of still says its 8am Melbourne time so it's actually a sleep in. Seems the humidity helps Luke sleep so that's a bonus. Now we're standing outside watching the sunrise and making Ketut remarks.

Today we're off to Jakarta which means we have to travel to another time zone again. Less than 48 hours in Bali is simply not enough, and I would have loved to stay longer, but we are missing the folks in Jakarta so of we go.

Luke traveled well. We opted to come via Perth to break up the trip. Luke did so well on the flight we were actually annoyed that we had to transit. In true Luke style he charmed all the staff and passengers.

We had never been to Perth and upon arrival I felt very much like Adelaide. The airport is obviously at the dryer end of town, Because as we flew out on a flight full of Bali-bound bogans, the view of Perth was stunning. I really hope to go there for real some day.

I haven't landed as an international passenger in Denpasar for a while. The queue for the Visa on Arrival was huge but I managed to get in the queue quickly. Meanwhile the rest of my Lucky Indonesian family got to jump the queue and go Into the local queue.

I had been standing in line for about two minutes when I realised that Hendrik had my US visa money. Oh crap. So I ran towards the big long queue of foreigners getting their stickers but had no idea where Hendrik had gone. (Luke and Hendrik would have easily been the only Indonesians on the flight)

I panicked. It's funny how good your indonesian gets when you're desperate. I got the attention of one of the officials at the airport and asked him, "pak, pak... Mana antri Indonesia?" (where's the Indonesian line?)

Then the 20 questions started. Why? Oh has your husband got a KITAS? Oh really? Your husbands Indonesian? Why can you speak Indonesian? Why do you need to talk to him? Ok, ok... The lines over there.

Luckily I found them. The only people in the queue. Nice to be Indonesian. I sweet talked the guy stamping their passports and he said I could go back to him later rather than lining up with the other hundreds of my kind.

I went and joined the now massive queue to buy my visa. Granted, they are faster at processing them here than in Jakarta. I went back to the previous man but Hendrik had gone and the room was now full of Indonesians. The nice man called me over and stamped my passport - for free! Better than been offered the 'express' service. Win.

We're staying with my super cool sister in law. Yesterday we went to Kuta to beach walk, which, in my opinion, is the dodgiestly designed place for a place in a hot climate.

I need new shoes as mine have given me blisters already. Bloody heat. But I like it. Win some, loose some. Looking forward to the cooler climate!

Photos for the vulnerable

Sometimes it's hard having a ridiculously good looking baby.

I've recently taken up group personal training with my mothers group. The instructor told us that we needed to go for a walk in the evening following the training so that we wouldn't have sore legs the next day. Did I follow her advice? No. The next day I spent in bed.

The following week I didn't want it to be the same. But it was a glorious Melbourne day - hot and windy. So after post-fitness-pig out, I decided to walk around the shopping centre in the air conditioning.

People offered me house and land packages, donate to the save-something fund, and I told them I was under 21 and couldn't (lies). Then a lady in a pink shirt approached me. This isn't the first time. I usually ignore them. I'm not sure why on this day I got sucked in.

She offered to take some 'professional' photos for me for a lovely price of $6.50, which included a free print. I immediately thought what harm could it do and agreed. She put a pink towel on the counter and gave me some outfits to put Luke into. She snapped away as Luke, his cheery self, laughed and smiled for the camera. He was truly adorable and I knew that the photos would be gorgeous.

After putting Luke back in his original clothes, the lady offered me another deal. Six magnets for $30. $5 a magnet. That sounded alright, and great for christmas presents, so the total became $36.50. She also told me that the optional extra was 90 prints and a CD for $520. I immediately said no, and said that if I changed my mind I could later. She stamped a pink card for me, with the collection date the 25th of October and went through the pick up process with me.

I went home that afternoon and began researching modelling agencies.. I was truly under the impression that Luke could be in the next Target magazine. After realising that modelling agencies aren't like teaching agencies, I scrapped the idea.

This morning after a nap, Luke and I went to Fountain Gate to do some 'jobs' and collect the photos. I noticed the stall already with a long line of mothers and prams there to pick up the prints. There stood a stall with plastic buckets full of photos and three young blonde ladies with there to assist.

I joined the back of the queue of about 5 people. I thought that it wouldn't take long, as I assumed that the other mothers were there just to pick up their prints and go, right? Luke was getting restless so I gave him the pink card to play with.

Half an hour later I was sitting on a fold up seat at the table. I handed the blonde lady the pink, chewed and slobbery card and she proceeded to file though the hundreds of photos in the plastic box. Finally she pulled out a plastic pocket filled with photos. She laid them all in front of me like a machine gun. Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang. Nine different poses were laid in front of me with my sons adorable smiling face. Every different photo she placed down I would let out an 'awww'!

"Here's the deal," She said, "there are 90 prints here. It's $520 for these and a CD, but you'll have to wait for the CD as we'll need to burn them for you."

I stopped her. 

"I'm really sorry but I can't afford it," I said, "but could I buy some individually, perhaps?"

"well," she said, as I started to dream about putting the big photos in a lovely frame. "I can do a deal - $180 for all of these prints, just no CD."

Wow. But could I really justify spending all this money? I did the maths in my head - $2 a print wasn't bad, but I still couldn't justify it. I thought perhaps Hendrik would help me justify it.

"I can't afford it," I said, "but my husband has money!"

I got my iPhone out and pretended to text him. I opened up the camera and quickly took a shot of the photos before me on the table. I texted Hendrik telling him of the deal and waited for his reply.

"take your time!" Said the lady. No wonder I waited in line for half an hour. I looked at the long line of anxious mothers and felt sorry for them.

Minutes passed, and Hendrik didn't reply. I told her that perhaps it'd be best I just get what I had already paid for.

"Can I come back later after I've had a think about it?" I asked.

"No,"she replied, "I really can't let you because I can only do this within the next half an hour because I have to take the money to the bank" (or some incredibly strange reason. Don't worry I know this trick.)

She lowered her voice, "how about $150?"

I then called Hendrik. The annoying Virgin Mobile man told me what I already knew - my husband doesn't use voice mail.

I began to feel sick at making this decision on my own. If I had a job I could justify it. But currently living on one income and heading to Indonesia in the future made me think about all the things I could buy over there. Then I would look back at my sons smiling face before me and I wanted to cry. Suddenly I felt really dizzy like I was going to faint. I just wanted to get out of there. I closed my eyes and prayed that God would tell me what to do. No answer.

I dialled Hendrik again, and said in my heart that if he didn't answer, it's a sign that the answer is no.

"Don't say the price too loud," she whispered. Dodgy.

Hendrik didn't pick up. I looked at the pictures of my son as tears swelled up in my eyes. If they were to throw these pictures in the bin, it felt like they were throwing out a part of me.

"He didn't pick up," I said, "So I think I'll just get the print and magnets that I've already paid for. Sorry." (Why am I apologising?)

"Look," she said, "I'll give them to you for $120. I would just hate to see them go in the bin." 

My heart dropped and suddenly I felt like I was doing a deal with the devil. I was going to give money to this organisation that was about to go and pick on more vulnerable mothers like myself, all for the sake of the beautiful photos of my son. 

And then I made a promise to myself. I would go and give someone more deserving the money. Young talent is genuinely being robbed by shopping centre scammers like this.

I bit my lip. "No, I'll just take the magnets and the print."

She then proceeded to cut out six of the smaller prints and stick magnets on the back (very dodgy). I think she needed to go back to primary school and learn how to cut straight. She quickly cut the print off for me. She put them inside of the chewed up slobbery pink card which I then removed because I didn't want them wrecked, yet she insisted.

$120 can go towards my very own SLR camera, I thought.

From my experience this morning I would like to tell you that instead of being sucked in, you should check out my friend Hayley Mah ("Check her out"!). Her children are like Luke, putting the Asian in caucASIAN. She is a beginner photographer, but my she is good. Unfortunately she lives in Ballarat, but she has excellent deals. Instead of supporting some silly manipulative business that prys on innocent vulnerable mothers, I would much rather support someone like Hayley. Check out her website, Captured By Mah to find more information!

Just the two of us...

Tonight Hendrik had to work late. I've never had a night where it's solely Luke and I. The only nights I have been away from Hendrik were when I went home for a week - but I at least had my Mum.

After tonight I have developed full respect for single parents - and the ones with partners who just don't help out.

After a relatively busy day, mothers group and a 3 hour round trip to the airport, I thought that tonight would be fine. Despite Hendrik only telling me yesterday that he would have to stay back late to tonight, I had planned a night of solitary luxury. Watching a movie, reading a book or blogging.

How very wrong I was.

After getting lost on the way home from the airport (long story) I came home and we watched some TV. My Mum had stewed up some apple for Luke yesterday so I tried to feed him that. He wasn't interested. I tried everything. I put him in front of the fish but he knew that Daddy wasn't home. And he usually would be.

After trying to force feed him with two different choices, adding cinnamon to the apple. He almost choked and I began to get stressed. But it didn't end there.

I multitasked by trying to feed him while getting his bath ready. I NEVER bath him. Because Hendrik works such long hours it's dedicated for father-son bonding time. I'm not too good at bathing him and he may or may not have eaten some soap.

The whole time through the eating and bathing I could slowly feel myself stressing out. I constantly told myself to just be calm, and nurturing toward my baby, and cuddle him when he cries. I had to let him know that even though his favourite man in the world couldn't be there, I would do my best. I've come miles from the early colic days where I would lose it after being with him all day.

Just stay calm. Everything will be alright. And it is.

I struggled to get him dressed and then he finally calmed down with the help of my boobs, and watched Big Brother while eating my red polka dot scarf.

I needed a shower so I put the high chair in front of the shower. I put him in there, dummy in mouth and a container in his hand. I took of my short and he played with that too.

The floor wasn't even in the shower so he began to rock the chair back and forth and thought it was hilarious. He managed to get it right up against the shower door and began banging it.

So he had gone from screaming and crying to laughing with delight.I quickly got changed and sat him in front of the television as we watched the rest of Big Brother (why is there nothing on TV on a Wednesday night!) as I scoffed the casserole my mum was so kid to put in the slow cooker before I drove her to the airport - thanks Mum!

He began to get cranky so I fed him and now he is asleep on my lap as I type this on my iPhone.

This is only day one. I'm reminded tonight how blessed I am to have a husband like Hendrik, and how much he does that I take for granted and don't realise until he takes a night off.

Now I just need to get through tomorrow night.

One year on

A sunset in Bali
- as beautiful as the island and the people that live there

But then something happens. Something that doesn't come within ten solar planets of what I expect. A group of lunatics rip bombs through a nightclub district in Bali on Saturday.

- Does My Head Look Big in This? by Randa Abdel-Fattah

How funny it is that this is in the chapter of the book I'm reading at the moment there's this - on the 10 year anniversary of the Bali Bombings.

For those of you who have been living under a rock, I love Indonesia. I love it so much that it was only natural that I married a man from Jakarta. 

While Indonesia is so close to my heart, I can't deny the fact that I'm Australian.

2002 was the first time I ever went to Indonesia. I remember Mum booked the flight insisting that I go because "back in my day I never had these kinds of opportunities."

Just prior to going, at 16 years of age, the first of my immediate family to ever go overseas, I was scared. Not of terrorism, but just genuinely afraid of going overseas, getting sick, or anything - I was naturally an anxious person. I was trying so hard for something to 'happen' before I went so that I wouldn't have to.

I got on the plane, and I went. I arrived in Bali and went straight on a plane to Yogyakarta. We had a few days in Bali on the way home. And I fell in love.

My Mum went to Bali a few months later. I was certain I would return to Indonesia some day.

Then a few months later this happened. I was on a church camp and people told me that there had been an earthquake in Bali, knowing that I loved Indonesia. It then turned out that someone must have heard wrong. It was a terrorist attack!

I remember arriving at school the following Monday, feeling a bit devastated, and my wonderful Indonesian teacher debriefing us and explaining what happened.

I didn't get to see the memorial service today, but just watching clips on it now is really moving. A muslim lady is seen holding a flower before putting it in the water, praying for her loved one. While the bombers were Muslim, innocent Muslims also died. I don't think this is a war against Islam or any religion. Or country.

John Howard is adorable. And good on Julia and Mr. Abbot for attending also. But where is Mr. Rudd? And more importantly... WHERE IS MR. YUDUYONO???

While people say that our relationship between Australia and Indonesia has gotten stronger, I think there's definitely still work to be done. Australia could be more welcoming to Indonesians coming to Australia, and the Indonesian president could definitely make more of an effort.

We need to NOT cut Indonesian out of our curriculum. So many schools where I offer my services say, "oh, we're phasing Indonesian out."

Whenever I have taught Indonesian some smart arse has to say "Indonesians are all terrorists." Yeah, because Indonesians didn't die as well? Because my husband and his family and all my Indonesian friends really have alternate motives to plant a bomb in my car. It's just not like that. And we can't wipe out this narrow minded point of view if we just abolish Indonesian from schools - especially since in the past there has genuinely been big successes by having it as part of the learning program. Ok, I'm raving.

Don't worry, Julia. It's the story of my life. When I go to Indonesia nobody makes the effort to meet with me, either.

Why Jakarta has better roads than Melbourne

3 years ago with Sang Kotak

I remember the first time I ever drove in Jakarta. It was a great experience. I loved honking my horn in my husbands Suzuki Karimun, or as I like to call it 'sang kotak' ('the box'). The local school kids were amazed at the sight of a white girl driving in their neighbourhood and began to wave at me. Usually the closest they get to white people is seeing them on the television.

I never feel unsafe in Jakarta. I have more often than not felt unsafe right around my neighbourhood here in Melbourne. 

I believe Jakarta's roads are not only safer, but also, in some ways, much better all around. I'm not talking about the quality of roads - definitely not. We once hit a rock in the middle of a broken road and I had to direct traffic. The fact that I was white did not add to the novelty for all the angry Indonesian commuters.

Here are some reasons why I think Jakarta is not just safer than Melbourne for driving:

Source

1. Jakarta roads are safer because there are no high speed crashes
On a good day, it can take 1 hour to drive a kilometer. Basically, how can you have a high speed crash if you never get the chance to go high speed? The term for this is macet meaning congested. My favorite saying for this is macet total!

2. Trying to park your stretch limo? No worries!
There's an unwritten rule in Jakarta. You just flash your headlights and somebody will come and direct you to park your car. They shout a set of instructions from "terus" (keep going) "kiri" (left) "kanan" (right) "lurus" (straighten up). This service is about rp 15.000 (20 cents) and is available in most shopping centres - big or small.

3. Dehydrated? Not a problem!
On the side of many roads closer to the centre of Jakarta are people selling peanuts, bananas, newspapers and water. And on those days when the traffic just wont move, you can always jump out and there's bound to be a street seller not far away!

4. Roads are so safe, you barely need rules
You don't need a car seat or seatbelts in the back seat. A family of four can ride a motorbike with no helmets.

A banci in Bandung
Photo courtesy my Sister

5. The roads can be entertaining
Often there will be people playing their guitar or performing some kind of act. In Bandung we see lots of she-males. We call them banci.

A boy offering his services

6. The roads create jobs.
People give themselves work by getting in the middle of traffic and starting to direct it. Basically if they let you give way, it means you give them money. I also once saw kids offering to get into cars so that the businessmen could go down the express lane as they needed more than one person in the car. When they make or repair roads, they make them so they aren't good quality, so that when they are continuously unroadworthy (pardon the pun) they can go back and fix them all over again to get more work.

7. Fuel saving traffic lights
I used to wonder why they had traffic lights that counted down - it's so that you can turn off your engine while waiting. Not only does this save fuel, it also helps to cut down emissions. A win win all around!

So where would you rather be?

tomatoes are fruit and other stories

A few days ago I noticed a few days ago that Luke had two tiny teeth pushing through. While he is no more cranky than usual, he has definitely turned feral. He seems a bit more restless than usual. And he talks a lot more as his coping mechanism. So much for me last week boasting to toothful babies parents about me not getting teeth until 9 months and that meaning I had better teeth.

This morning I woke up and forgot to make my husband lunch. I quickly scrambled some ingredients together as he finished getting ready and offered to take him to the train station. I really wanted to take him to the train station as it meant I could go and get a coffee before a lady comes to my house at 10. Yep, I'm starting another mothers group. With the Department of Education. One minute I'm abandoning all chances of working with them again, the next minute I'm voluntarily involving myself!

A trip to get coffee also is a chance to go to Coles and get any ingredients I may have missed due to forgetting to take the shopping list with me to Knox yesterday.

While in Coles I was looking for chopped onion in a can - because like many Aussies I hate cutting onion. I became angry that the canned tomatoes were in the vegetable aisle - tomatoes are a fruit. No canned onions anyway - in hindsight maybe I should have checked the canned fruit aisle.

I approached the express aisle with an onion, two carrots and three litres of milk. There was one lady on the whole checkout and because it was 8am it was very quiet. The lady was actually a young girl. I'd say it wouldn't have been long since she had left school. She didn't want to engage with any conversation. As I handed her my FlyBuy's card I asked if the whole $5 would actually count at me.

"I dunno!" She moaned.

I tried to make a joke about "tapping" my card on the eftpos machine to which she basically just rolled her eyes. Hey, I don't care if you don't like my joke, but cheer up. I'm the customer and you should provide me with magic moments that make me want to spend every day in your silly supermarket. Lucky I didn't pull the tomatoes-are-fruit-why-are-they-in-the-canned-vegetable-aisle on her.

I went to collect my bags and noticed she had put milk in one and the two VEGETABLES in another. Coming from the bagless state my recycling tendencies kicked in.

"Oh, it's okay, I don't need two bags!" I said as I started taking the vegetables out and putting them in the other bag. She completely ignored me and started serving the other customer and plonking more bags next to mine. She then snatched the empty bag away and tossed it in the bin under her register. So much for my effort to save the planet.

I felt so annoyed by this lady. Something I really value is good customer service. There are so many people, and might I add decent people, who are not fortunate to have a job in times when they are so scarse. I was thinking to complain about her to management, along with the fact that the canned tomatoes are in the wrong aisle. Instead I just walked out of Coles and felt really robbed of my shopping experience.

I was barely metres from the exit when I could hear a little voice behind me.

"Excuse me!"

I turned around and there was a little girl chasing after me.

"You forgot your purse".

And sure enough there was my big red wallet in her hand. I'm so lucky I only ever taught once at the school next to Coles so that kids can't remember the clumsy teacher.

My philosophy on this morning's events:

- Just because I teethed at 9 months doesn't give me another 3 months grace with Luke.
- I'm smarter than whoever it is that decides where things go in Coles.
- Don't dwell on negative things such as moody check out chicks - you might forget your wallet.
- For every moody check out chick in this world there is a sweet child wanting to make a difference.

Five Minute Friday: Grasp

Fridays are usually for rejoicing. Friday is the day I often will take Hendrik to the station and pick him up again as we swing by and get take away. Friday I usually get a cute picture of Luke and put it up on instagram with the hashtag #tgif.

This morning I woke up and the weather was gloomy. Typically Melbourne, yesterday was sunny. By 9:00am there were thunder storms and in the afternoon torrential rains.

The weather in Melbourne really sets the mood today.

For someone who perhaps isn't up to speed: today they found the body of Jill Meagher, a lady who worked for the ABC who was abducted, raped, murdered and then dumped on a backroad out of town. Only 24 hours ago I would have driven so near to that place as I went on the freeway to a Uni catch up.

I don't live in Brunswick. I don't even know the lady. But this has hit me so hard. Listening to John Faine on the ABC, then watching the memorial on Sydney road, the people breaking down who also just don't know her.

Watching the news this evening I can feel tears swelling up in my eyes. I can't believe this could happen or who could have the heart to do something so brutal to someone so innocent. Luke is asleep on my lap. He wakes up, and I hug him tight.

There's nothing I can do but pray. Even though I am so distant from everything and don't even know the person, I can't help but feel so incredibly moved.

RIP Jill Meagher. I'm thinking of everybody.

Choking on an Apple of disappointment

The 8th photo I ever took on my iPhone 4

Almost two years ago I took up a job. I was teaching a grade 5/6 class in term 4. I had 23 students and they had had enough of school, and were simply not interested in having a new teacher. On top of the struggle for me to get them to relate to me, I had to write their end of year reports after only getting to know them for 6 weeks.

As a reward for my efforts, once I had finished my report, I went straight to our local shopping centre and signed up for an iPhone 4. I really liked this phone. I still do.

My husband was jealous of my flash new smart phone and wanted one too. He opted for a Samsung Galaxy S. Not S2, Not S3. Just S.

I always thought he was silly getting that phone. Actually I still do. Not only was iPhone cooler, but it obviously ran better too. I came home from work one day and he was proudly 'rooting' his phone. As English isn't his first language, I don't think he understood 100% my amusement when he said he was 'rooting' his phone. (for those who don't know, 'rooting' means 'jailbreaking' your phone - so the user has full control of the operating system)

I used to mock him as he obsessed over Android devices and how he claimed they were so much better than Apple. The two can't really be compared as one is open source and the other isn't.

I considered getting an iPad. What put me off was they were horribly expensive and I simply couldn't justify spending a great amount of money when I already had an iPhone and we had a baby on the way.

I did, however, have a fantastic idea. I could get an iPad. I could buy eBooks. Picture eBooks. Instead of having a caseload of books in my boot as I went from school-to-school teaching a different class every day I could store them all on my iPad. I'd be known as the awesome relief teacher who read books from an iPad. That and it would be a tax benefit. Win all around.

Then Steve Jobs passed away. Shortly after the iPad 3 was released and I felt disappointed. There wasn't much more to it apart from some resolution improvements. Compared to the iPad 2 it even overheats... and is thicker and heavier too.

Then the iPhone 4S came out. Apart from some spec improvement and the silly Siri addition, it didn't "wow" me.

I was also annoyed that I couldn't use flash on my Apple device. Some websites I want to view have flash, and I also watch online TV which requires Flash to operate.

My husband was so proud of my child bearing efforts that he wanted to reward me with an iPad as I spent a lot of hours up breast feeding. I told him that I was disappointed with the iPad and would rather an android device so that I could watch streaming TV when I was up in the middle of the night. For mothers day he bought me an Asus transformer. I really liked it but unfortunately it was a little bit dodgy from an eBay seller and was returned. We then saw that Aldi had a tablet for sale and purchased it, but that too was dodgy.

The Samsung Note fulfils my creative tendencies 

So I haven't had a lot of luck with devices. However, I still have my trusty iPhone 4. It still works, however I can't upgrade to the new iOS 6 because I need to free up some space.

I was semi-excited for the iPhone 5 release, but knew deep in my heart I was going to be disappointed. I was tossing up between getting a Samsung Note 2 as my next phone (but may just go for the first edition due to finances).

I woke up early on the morning that the iPhone was released to find that it was not all that it was cracked up to be, and upon having a play in the Telstra Shop, I can safely say, once my 4 dies, I will not buy another iPhone. Granted, iPhones are very user friendly and smooth, but I feel like I am limited with them and want something more.

So I am going to go with the Samsung Note when the time comes. It saves me buying a tablet and will be better on my eyes when I am up in the middle of the night feeding the bub.

Dishwasher duty {Day 12}

Today's tasks:

- Clean the dishwasher

- Declutter/organise the bathroom cupboard

- Make a habit of checking your diary before you sleep

- Take the rubbish out of your car

Okay, so the dishwasher. Let me introduce you. This is our dishwasher:

Now to let you in on a little secret. We have never used it. And we never will. We have been using it as storage space:

This is where we keep our plastic containers. Quite honestly, for us, it is quicker to wash things than to run the dishwasher. Also, it would probably mean putting the dishwasher on only every few days and I don't really like that feeling. Did I mention I also loathe loading and unloading the dishwasher? No thank you.

So I made a decision to relocate these plastic containers into an actual cupboard today.

See this cupboard? I've decided that this cupboard is perfect for plastic containers. I'm planning to buy a thing for the other doors that are together so that Luke can't get into them when he is on the move (which will be really soon! The other day I caught him unplugging the antenna from the TV). Someone suggested that there can be one cupboard that's safe for the kids to get into if need be. Plastic to me seems pretty safe. My Mum calls it the Tupperware cupboard... even if it's not actually tupperware!

This is what was in the cupboard:

Pots and pans and clanging things! They obviously didn't stack well so now....

They stack perfectly in the dishwasher!

Luke even 'helped' me out in this process:

So now, here lives the plastic containers. Look how nicely they are stacked!

In the process I found some cool things. Check this out! This is a microwave egg cooker. I bought it for hubby as he loves eggs.

Here is a container I wrote on in permanent texta once. It says "wash before eating".

Now onto the bathroom cupboard, I had actually already done this close to when I moved in:

I have boxes in the cupboard so 'stuff' isn't stringed everywhere. There's a box for Hendrik, a box for me, a box for electricals, and a box for spares (we do all our supply hopping in Indonesia once a year.)

Cleaning the car can wait - I want to wash and vacuum when I have an extra pair of hands!

As for the checking the diary before I sleep, oh how I should do this! I forgot I had a lady coming to look at the silly smart meter attached to my TV. She was coming at 4:00pm and at 3:30 I decided to go out a coffee. 

While I was sipping away I got a call from the lady, "where are you? I need to use your toilet!" 

Lifting the laundry dust {Day 11}

Over the weekend a friend suggested a blog called 'the organised housewife' which was very inspiring. If any of you read my blog while I was in my nesting phase of pregnancy you will find that this would have been right up my alley.

Friends, past house mates, colleagues, ex boyfriends and current husbands would probably testify that I was never a clean and tidy person. When I met my husband I made a big change in myself. But I had never been the one for grot. I can't stand mould and foul smells. Admittedly, I have had a problem with clutter, and that's probably because I am a hoarder. When I left Bendigo for Melbourne I probably threw out or donated 80% of my 'stuff'. I had a 2 bedroom house in Bendigo, I was downsizing for one small room in a sharehouse of 5. From then on I quit my hoarding and even though now that we have a big home in the outer suburbs I want to keep it that way! 

When everything feels cluttered so do I!

Ah, so back to the blog that I've discovered. There's this thing called The 20 Day Challenge to Organise and Clean your Home. Unfortunately I've only discovered it at day 11. But never fear, I still want to join in. I could start at Day 1 but then I wouldn't have the daily motivation of getting things done and will end up on the back burner, and, yes. Burn.

So I'm stating at Day 11. And if I miss a day, it's alright!

Here were todays tasks in a nutshell:

- Clean the washing Machine

- Declutter under the laundry sink

- Reorganise the linen cupboard

- Create a 'one in One' out system

For more details check out day 11.

Our laundry is very unorganised, and I think it comes from a lack of cupboard space. I decided to tackle the whole laundry and skip the linen cupboard, as I had tackled that when I was nesting.

Here's how it went:

As you can see below, random things were chucked on top of the washing machine. The fake flowers where from a year 2 student who would now be in year 4. There's a broken door knob, detergant, the washing machine manual, rolls of wipes...

And tadaa! I left the flowers there and a little saying thing. I added a little bin because my theory is if it's not there I'm more than likely to leave tags and tissues just lying around. I've left the detergent there as I have it in a particular spot whereby I just tip it and it goes straight into the dispenser. 

Now the inside of the machine. I didn't bother doing the whole clean through cycle as it's not really that bad but I did give the dispenser part a clean out as it was getting festy. (I never use prewash, how is it that it's gone mouldy?)

And onto the cupboard. There had been build up down the bottom so I got in and scrubbed that off and got rid of the dirt that was building up in creases. (I want to get in and give it a good scrub next time).

And a general de clutter of the bathroom, here's a before and after:

But what about that box? Well inside it was full of shoes I haven't worn for 2 years. I'm going to go through them and send some to the op shop.

And as for the fate of the box? It's a temporary Luke box. I mean toy box!

Kath & Kimderella

Okay don't disown me, but one of my guilty pleasures is definitely Kath and Kim. I went through high school watching it and now that I live in the Kath & Kim side of Melbourne I appreciate and understand the jokes so much better. I remember I was in disbelief that Fountain Gate actually existed!

When I heard they were doing a movie, I joked that they should have the film premiere at Fountain Gate, where they base their shopping trips at. A day later I found out that they did indeed have the film premiere at Fountain Gate. I was so annoyed with myself for not stalking them.

I was really keen to see this movie, and to see it at Fountain Gate. Obviously, it's hard to take Luke to the movies and there is only one 'Mum's and Bubs' screening every Wednesday morning and the morning that the Kath & Kim movie was on I was going to be getting my fit on.

My awesome PJ's.

So I convinced my neighbour to come with me. I prepared Luke early enough that we could catch the 8:30 screening. We wore our Pyjamas so that when we got home we could go straight to bed! I was very tempted to have my muffin top out and a G-String hanging out my backside, but I thought the whole Pyjama thing made me enough of a hornbag/foxy moron as it was. (If you've never watched Kath and Kim that last sentence probably makes no sense to you at all). I sat next to two middle-aged ladies who were obviously Kath & Kim fanatics. They snorted when they laughed (really loudly) and sung along with every song.

I forgot how noisy the cinema is. I am used to things being on the quiet side now that I have a baby so seeing something big and noisy was a change for me.

This is my KeepCup!

Watching the movie I couldn't help but think how Kath & Kim-esque my life is now that I live in their 'territory'. The opening scene is Kath strutting her stuff down her street (which is some kind of very strange powerwalk) with a KeepCup. I have a KeepCup! And I think I drive my local coffee shop crazy with it!

Kath walks into the driveway of her house, which I have recently discovered is located in Patterson Lakes (so I shall stalk the house later) and I try to read whether the Wheelie Bins are from the City of Casey. Today I discover, no. City of Kingston. I get now why she lives in the fictitious suburb of Fountain Lakes - it's a mix of 'Fountain Gate' and 'Patterson Lakes'.

Suddenly Kim pulls into the driveway after doing some quite dramatic driving down the street. Funnily enough it's almost the exact same car I came to the cinema in. Kim leaps out of the car wearing barely anything (why does this remind me of that party-boy Corey who also lives around here) and demands Kath to do her washing for her, which of course Kath refuses.

So Kath and Kim are there having their argument when the neighbour is caught staring. Kath shouts out, "oh, hello, Mandy! Yes, why don't you take a picture - it lasts longer!"- Oh my goodness! I also have a neighbour called Mandy!

OMG there were Vespas in this movie!!!

Anyway, that's the first part of the film. Although there were some pretty dodgy special effects the movie was, well, noice, different, un-yews-ew-al... To say the least. And I enjoyed the big belly laugh and the fun of it all.

(I assume all of my artsy fartsy Melbourne friends are now shaking their heads at me! Shame, Sammy, Shame!)