Five Minute Friday: Grasp

Fridays are usually for rejoicing. Friday is the day I often will take Hendrik to the station and pick him up again as we swing by and get take away. Friday I usually get a cute picture of Luke and put it up on instagram with the hashtag #tgif.

This morning I woke up and the weather was gloomy. Typically Melbourne, yesterday was sunny. By 9:00am there were thunder storms and in the afternoon torrential rains.

The weather in Melbourne really sets the mood today.

For someone who perhaps isn't up to speed: today they found the body of Jill Meagher, a lady who worked for the ABC who was abducted, raped, murdered and then dumped on a backroad out of town. Only 24 hours ago I would have driven so near to that place as I went on the freeway to a Uni catch up.

I don't live in Brunswick. I don't even know the lady. But this has hit me so hard. Listening to John Faine on the ABC, then watching the memorial on Sydney road, the people breaking down who also just don't know her.

Watching the news this evening I can feel tears swelling up in my eyes. I can't believe this could happen or who could have the heart to do something so brutal to someone so innocent. Luke is asleep on my lap. He wakes up, and I hug him tight.

There's nothing I can do but pray. Even though I am so distant from everything and don't even know the person, I can't help but feel so incredibly moved.

RIP Jill Meagher. I'm thinking of everybody.

Choking on an Apple of disappointment

The 8th photo I ever took on my iPhone 4

Almost two years ago I took up a job. I was teaching a grade 5/6 class in term 4. I had 23 students and they had had enough of school, and were simply not interested in having a new teacher. On top of the struggle for me to get them to relate to me, I had to write their end of year reports after only getting to know them for 6 weeks.

As a reward for my efforts, once I had finished my report, I went straight to our local shopping centre and signed up for an iPhone 4. I really liked this phone. I still do.

My husband was jealous of my flash new smart phone and wanted one too. He opted for a Samsung Galaxy S. Not S2, Not S3. Just S.

I always thought he was silly getting that phone. Actually I still do. Not only was iPhone cooler, but it obviously ran better too. I came home from work one day and he was proudly 'rooting' his phone. As English isn't his first language, I don't think he understood 100% my amusement when he said he was 'rooting' his phone. (for those who don't know, 'rooting' means 'jailbreaking' your phone - so the user has full control of the operating system)

I used to mock him as he obsessed over Android devices and how he claimed they were so much better than Apple. The two can't really be compared as one is open source and the other isn't.

I considered getting an iPad. What put me off was they were horribly expensive and I simply couldn't justify spending a great amount of money when I already had an iPhone and we had a baby on the way.

I did, however, have a fantastic idea. I could get an iPad. I could buy eBooks. Picture eBooks. Instead of having a caseload of books in my boot as I went from school-to-school teaching a different class every day I could store them all on my iPad. I'd be known as the awesome relief teacher who read books from an iPad. That and it would be a tax benefit. Win all around.

Then Steve Jobs passed away. Shortly after the iPad 3 was released and I felt disappointed. There wasn't much more to it apart from some resolution improvements. Compared to the iPad 2 it even overheats... and is thicker and heavier too.

Then the iPhone 4S came out. Apart from some spec improvement and the silly Siri addition, it didn't "wow" me.

I was also annoyed that I couldn't use flash on my Apple device. Some websites I want to view have flash, and I also watch online TV which requires Flash to operate.

My husband was so proud of my child bearing efforts that he wanted to reward me with an iPad as I spent a lot of hours up breast feeding. I told him that I was disappointed with the iPad and would rather an android device so that I could watch streaming TV when I was up in the middle of the night. For mothers day he bought me an Asus transformer. I really liked it but unfortunately it was a little bit dodgy from an eBay seller and was returned. We then saw that Aldi had a tablet for sale and purchased it, but that too was dodgy.

The Samsung Note fulfils my creative tendencies 

So I haven't had a lot of luck with devices. However, I still have my trusty iPhone 4. It still works, however I can't upgrade to the new iOS 6 because I need to free up some space.

I was semi-excited for the iPhone 5 release, but knew deep in my heart I was going to be disappointed. I was tossing up between getting a Samsung Note 2 as my next phone (but may just go for the first edition due to finances).

I woke up early on the morning that the iPhone was released to find that it was not all that it was cracked up to be, and upon having a play in the Telstra Shop, I can safely say, once my 4 dies, I will not buy another iPhone. Granted, iPhones are very user friendly and smooth, but I feel like I am limited with them and want something more.

So I am going to go with the Samsung Note when the time comes. It saves me buying a tablet and will be better on my eyes when I am up in the middle of the night feeding the bub.

Dishwasher duty {Day 12}

Today's tasks:

- Clean the dishwasher

- Declutter/organise the bathroom cupboard

- Make a habit of checking your diary before you sleep

- Take the rubbish out of your car

Okay, so the dishwasher. Let me introduce you. This is our dishwasher:

Now to let you in on a little secret. We have never used it. And we never will. We have been using it as storage space:

This is where we keep our plastic containers. Quite honestly, for us, it is quicker to wash things than to run the dishwasher. Also, it would probably mean putting the dishwasher on only every few days and I don't really like that feeling. Did I mention I also loathe loading and unloading the dishwasher? No thank you.

So I made a decision to relocate these plastic containers into an actual cupboard today.

See this cupboard? I've decided that this cupboard is perfect for plastic containers. I'm planning to buy a thing for the other doors that are together so that Luke can't get into them when he is on the move (which will be really soon! The other day I caught him unplugging the antenna from the TV). Someone suggested that there can be one cupboard that's safe for the kids to get into if need be. Plastic to me seems pretty safe. My Mum calls it the Tupperware cupboard... even if it's not actually tupperware!

This is what was in the cupboard:

Pots and pans and clanging things! They obviously didn't stack well so now....

They stack perfectly in the dishwasher!

Luke even 'helped' me out in this process:

So now, here lives the plastic containers. Look how nicely they are stacked!

In the process I found some cool things. Check this out! This is a microwave egg cooker. I bought it for hubby as he loves eggs.

Here is a container I wrote on in permanent texta once. It says "wash before eating".

Now onto the bathroom cupboard, I had actually already done this close to when I moved in:

I have boxes in the cupboard so 'stuff' isn't stringed everywhere. There's a box for Hendrik, a box for me, a box for electricals, and a box for spares (we do all our supply hopping in Indonesia once a year.)

Cleaning the car can wait - I want to wash and vacuum when I have an extra pair of hands!

As for the checking the diary before I sleep, oh how I should do this! I forgot I had a lady coming to look at the silly smart meter attached to my TV. She was coming at 4:00pm and at 3:30 I decided to go out a coffee. 

While I was sipping away I got a call from the lady, "where are you? I need to use your toilet!" 

Lifting the laundry dust {Day 11}

Over the weekend a friend suggested a blog called 'the organised housewife' which was very inspiring. If any of you read my blog while I was in my nesting phase of pregnancy you will find that this would have been right up my alley.

Friends, past house mates, colleagues, ex boyfriends and current husbands would probably testify that I was never a clean and tidy person. When I met my husband I made a big change in myself. But I had never been the one for grot. I can't stand mould and foul smells. Admittedly, I have had a problem with clutter, and that's probably because I am a hoarder. When I left Bendigo for Melbourne I probably threw out or donated 80% of my 'stuff'. I had a 2 bedroom house in Bendigo, I was downsizing for one small room in a sharehouse of 5. From then on I quit my hoarding and even though now that we have a big home in the outer suburbs I want to keep it that way! 

When everything feels cluttered so do I!

Ah, so back to the blog that I've discovered. There's this thing called The 20 Day Challenge to Organise and Clean your Home. Unfortunately I've only discovered it at day 11. But never fear, I still want to join in. I could start at Day 1 but then I wouldn't have the daily motivation of getting things done and will end up on the back burner, and, yes. Burn.

So I'm stating at Day 11. And if I miss a day, it's alright!

Here were todays tasks in a nutshell:

- Clean the washing Machine

- Declutter under the laundry sink

- Reorganise the linen cupboard

- Create a 'one in One' out system

For more details check out day 11.

Our laundry is very unorganised, and I think it comes from a lack of cupboard space. I decided to tackle the whole laundry and skip the linen cupboard, as I had tackled that when I was nesting.

Here's how it went:

As you can see below, random things were chucked on top of the washing machine. The fake flowers where from a year 2 student who would now be in year 4. There's a broken door knob, detergant, the washing machine manual, rolls of wipes...

And tadaa! I left the flowers there and a little saying thing. I added a little bin because my theory is if it's not there I'm more than likely to leave tags and tissues just lying around. I've left the detergent there as I have it in a particular spot whereby I just tip it and it goes straight into the dispenser. 

Now the inside of the machine. I didn't bother doing the whole clean through cycle as it's not really that bad but I did give the dispenser part a clean out as it was getting festy. (I never use prewash, how is it that it's gone mouldy?)

And onto the cupboard. There had been build up down the bottom so I got in and scrubbed that off and got rid of the dirt that was building up in creases. (I want to get in and give it a good scrub next time).

And a general de clutter of the bathroom, here's a before and after:

But what about that box? Well inside it was full of shoes I haven't worn for 2 years. I'm going to go through them and send some to the op shop.

And as for the fate of the box? It's a temporary Luke box. I mean toy box!

Kath & Kimderella

Okay don't disown me, but one of my guilty pleasures is definitely Kath and Kim. I went through high school watching it and now that I live in the Kath & Kim side of Melbourne I appreciate and understand the jokes so much better. I remember I was in disbelief that Fountain Gate actually existed!

When I heard they were doing a movie, I joked that they should have the film premiere at Fountain Gate, where they base their shopping trips at. A day later I found out that they did indeed have the film premiere at Fountain Gate. I was so annoyed with myself for not stalking them.

I was really keen to see this movie, and to see it at Fountain Gate. Obviously, it's hard to take Luke to the movies and there is only one 'Mum's and Bubs' screening every Wednesday morning and the morning that the Kath & Kim movie was on I was going to be getting my fit on.

My awesome PJ's.

So I convinced my neighbour to come with me. I prepared Luke early enough that we could catch the 8:30 screening. We wore our Pyjamas so that when we got home we could go straight to bed! I was very tempted to have my muffin top out and a G-String hanging out my backside, but I thought the whole Pyjama thing made me enough of a hornbag/foxy moron as it was. (If you've never watched Kath and Kim that last sentence probably makes no sense to you at all). I sat next to two middle-aged ladies who were obviously Kath & Kim fanatics. They snorted when they laughed (really loudly) and sung along with every song.

I forgot how noisy the cinema is. I am used to things being on the quiet side now that I have a baby so seeing something big and noisy was a change for me.

This is my KeepCup!

Watching the movie I couldn't help but think how Kath & Kim-esque my life is now that I live in their 'territory'. The opening scene is Kath strutting her stuff down her street (which is some kind of very strange powerwalk) with a KeepCup. I have a KeepCup! And I think I drive my local coffee shop crazy with it!

Kath walks into the driveway of her house, which I have recently discovered is located in Patterson Lakes (so I shall stalk the house later) and I try to read whether the Wheelie Bins are from the City of Casey. Today I discover, no. City of Kingston. I get now why she lives in the fictitious suburb of Fountain Lakes - it's a mix of 'Fountain Gate' and 'Patterson Lakes'.

Suddenly Kim pulls into the driveway after doing some quite dramatic driving down the street. Funnily enough it's almost the exact same car I came to the cinema in. Kim leaps out of the car wearing barely anything (why does this remind me of that party-boy Corey who also lives around here) and demands Kath to do her washing for her, which of course Kath refuses.

So Kath and Kim are there having their argument when the neighbour is caught staring. Kath shouts out, "oh, hello, Mandy! Yes, why don't you take a picture - it lasts longer!"- Oh my goodness! I also have a neighbour called Mandy!

OMG there were Vespas in this movie!!!

Anyway, that's the first part of the film. Although there were some pretty dodgy special effects the movie was, well, noice, different, un-yews-ew-al... To say the least. And I enjoyed the big belly laugh and the fun of it all.

(I assume all of my artsy fartsy Melbourne friends are now shaking their heads at me! Shame, Sammy, Shame!)

In that moment

This post is really just for me to debrief and to get my thoughts out there after this event that keeps playing on my mind.

On Saturday we decided that due to inclement weather we would go to the local shopping centre to go for a walk. On our way home, we were turning into one of the major roads. As we were accelerating, a car came up behind us and began to honk their horn. The speed limit was 80, we were doing 60 and increasing with speed, as my car is not exactly a V6 and takes a little while to get going. We had definitely given them sufficient way as we entered the intersection. They kept tailgating us with their hand firmly on the horn. I felt really angry, and looked back at them.

It was a two-laned road and so they did what they should have done in the first place and went into the right lane. But then they went in front of us, back into the left lane where we were driving and then slammed on their brakes! I was lucky Hendrik had a quick response time and he quickly braked.

I was now furious. I leant over to the drivers side and started beeping our horn (immature I know). They zoomed off into another street while I grabbed a pen and paper and scribbled down their registration number.

I was quite shaken up and as soon as we walked into the door I called the local police who said they were going to call them for a 'chat'.

So many things keep playing in my mind.

What if there was another car behind us and they ran into the back and hurt Luke?

What if we had crashed into them - it would have been seen as 'our fault'.

What if we we crashed into them and we were hurt? Who would look after Luke? What would happen to my boobs?

Is my car even safe?

They don't make cars like they used to. And quite honestly, if we crashed I think our car may have easily been written off. Actually I'm certain it would have been.

But we are safe. And so is the car.

But it has gotten me a bit nervous - this is just after a friend of mine had their car written off by the same type of reckless driver. I know that I need to conquer these feelings I have, but when I look at Luke and think of what could have been I get really scared inside. If anybody hurt him I tell you.... I don't know what I'd do.

I need to take control. Because if I'm nervous about driving, I will be a crap driver and a potential hazard on the road.

I will take control. I will enjoy driving again. Admittedly I haven't driven since as it's only Monday and on the weekends I'm driven around by my husband because he is generally awesome like that. And when I think about it we went to church and back and I didn't even think about this at all. It just pops into my head every now and then.

I can't control the other drivers on the road but I can be on my guard and safe and do what's right for my family!

What I would have told the ABC about today's strike.

Back in the day...

Today as I was driving home from Mothers group I decided to tune into the ABC. Funnily enough they were talking about the teachers strike in Melbourne today. Of course callers were calling in and saying about how teachers are paid too much and saying how they get 14 weeks of holidays. I called in and got through, but they were just about to break to the news, so said they would call me back. Okay, they said they may call me back. And they didn't. Haven't. So far.

Here's what I told the lady who took my call and what I would have said on air:

I was a teacher. Currently I am not a teacher as I have had a baby and because I wasn't in an actual concrete job I wasn't awarded any maternity leave.

If I had the choice to strike over either pay or conditions I would choose conditions. Hear me out. While I believe that teachers are definitely underpaid for the effort they put in, as a graduate teacher, I have had a really hard time securing a job.

I was lucky enough to score a job when I was fresh out of uni. In fact, I still had a few months to go. But because suddenly an Indonesian teacher had up and left to Indonesia and they were desperate - the Victorian Institute of Teaching awarded me special Permission to Teach. I was full time teaching years 7 - 9 Indonesian. I had well over 100 students, most with the usual attitude of I'm never going to Indonesia so why should I? Which, okay, fair enough. But I had been there 4 weeks and I was asked to write reports - due in 2 weeks. Rough.

As much as it wasn't the best of schools, I enjoyed the team I worked with and was eager to stay there. The staff begged me to apply for the position, a year contract, for the following teaching year, because they were concerned nobody would apply for it. As it happened, somebody else did.

I was informed that I was unsuccessful. I tried to remain cheerful and said to the principal that "I was young and beautiful, surely I'd get a job" (but on the inside I was crushed). He said he admired my resilience, and explained to me a little thing I had never heard of before called merit & equity. Basically, it means if you have more experience than me, you have more rights to my job if I go to renew a contract. And by law, the school must advertise a job, even if they have hinted that they want you back, you must still write a 5 page response to Key Selection Criteria, and go for the interview.

From there I began relief teaching. While it's good money and experience it does not 'count' towards anything as your 'years in service' are counted by the years you are actually engaged in either a contract or ongoing work with a school. I went back to uni to improve my prospects of finding a 'real job' and to this day I haven't used that second degree.

Through relief teaching I got a job teaching ICT and from that into a classroom for 2 terms. But then I had to reapply for my job and the same thing came back to bite me: merit & equity.

I fell pregnant so I decided to relief teach until the baby came.

For me, when I started my degree in 2005, I was told there were not enough teachers and that Indonesian was in high demand (I studied Primary and Indonesian teaching). By the time I graduated in 2008 there was a surplus and Indonesian was being phased out.

How are we supposed to attract young, fresh and fantastic teachers to the profession if they cannot feel secure or feel like they can build up their career?

Going back to the oh you get so many holidays and heaps of money debate: holidays are often spent marking and preparing for the next term. Even the big summer one. I was discouraged to go to Indonesia to see my family in my holidays because I 'ought to be planning for next term'. (and yeah, I probably should have been!). And did I mention - you get so run down from working over time that you are often SICK in your holidays? Also, there is no flexibility in these holidays, you take them when you're told to. Which really is sucky when you do go to visit family overseas and because it's school holidays ends up costing twice the price (which I could justify because I had a job and an income at the time).

Report time is a mad time. You are up all hours of the night, and if you are a specialist you can easily have hundreds of reports to write. I recall throwing up in the middle of the night because I was still writing reports in my sleep.

The bottom line is, the salary teachers get is not enough compared to the effort they put in and the cost of living, as well as the conditions they have to work under to maybe, just maybe be able to keep their job.

... And you get almost the same wage stacking shelves at Coles...

As for me, it is unlikely I will return to teaching. I want to give my son a quality of life where he is not in Childcare all hours of the day and then comes home to me not being able to spend time with him because I need to mark and plan (but full respect for those who do - it's tough and I'm cheering for you!). To return to relief teaching is unrealistic, as I cannot just pick up the phone at 7, have my son in childcare by 7:30 and be at a school by 8:10 in Frankston. Child care centres don't just let you put your child in randomly, and you can't put them in every Thursday and Friday because you might get a call to teach. Childcare is expensive and realistically I probably wouldn't make enough return to make it worth while.

And while I'm no perfect parent and I definitely have my days, I believe I am a better mother than I ever was teacher, and I am the best person for that job.

A walk in the Light Green...

Mum and Dad and Denny saw the passing-out parade at Puckapunyal

It was a long march from cadets.

The sixth battalion was the next to tour, and it was me who drew the card.

We did Canungra, Shoalwater before we left. 

And Townsville lined the footpaths as we marched down to the quay

This clipping from the paper shows us young and strong and clean.

And there's me in my slouch hat with my SLR and greens.

God help me, I was only nineteen. 

From Vung Tau, riding Chinooks, to the dust at Nui Dat

I'd been in and out of choppers now for months.

But we made our tents a home, VB and pinups on the lockers

And an Asian orange sunset through the scrub. 

And can you tell me, doctor, why I stil can't get to sleep?

And night-time's just a jungle dark and a barking M16?

And what's this rash that comes and goes, can you tell me what it means?

God help me, I was only ninteen. 

A four week operation when each step could mean your last one on two legs

It was a war within yourself.

But you wouldn't let your mates down til they had you dusted off

So you closed your eyes and thought about something else. 

Then someone yelled out "Contact!" and the bloke behind me swore

We hooked in there for hours, then a Godalmighty roar

Frankie kicked a mine the day that mankind kicked the moon,

God help me, he was going home in June. 

I can still see Frankie, drinking tinnies in the Grand Hotel

On a thirty-six hour rec leave in Vung Tau

And I can still hear Frankie, lying screaming in the jungle

Til the morphine came and killed the bloody row. 

And the Anzac legends didn't mention mud and blood and tears

And the stories that my father told me never seemed quite real.

I caught some pieces in my back that I didn't even feel

God help me, I was only nineteen. 

And can you tell me, doctor, why I still can't get to sleep?

And why the Channel Seven chopper chills me to my feet?

And what's this rash that comes and goes, can you tell me what it means?

God help me, I was only nineteen.

I Was Only Nineteen by Redgum

Listen/Watch via Youtube

Luke likes falling asleep listening to the sound of the ABC radio. I think it could be because he likes the sound of people talking. I tune my iPhone in (providing we are in Wifi range) to it and lie down with him and listen. It's actually quite interesting. Oh gosh I'm turning into my Mother/Grandfather!

I can't remember when the first time was when I heard this song. I think perhaps in High School (because I think I also recall talking to my Grandpa about it). I remember feeling really something deep inside move me and I can't remember why and I still don't know why. I got this same feeling when it came on the radio as Luke slept soundly beside me.

Something about Australians dying overseas moves me to tears deep inside my heart. I don't know why. Often I've even denied the fact that I am indeed Australian. But I am big on celebrating ANZAC and Remembrance Days. The last verse chills me the most.

Interestingly, since I have really thought about this song I have actually worked at Pukapunyal - which is a really awesome school. You would just be teaching times tables when suddenly a bomb would go off and shake the windows. That was all in a days work.

I remember when the Bali bombings happened in 2002 and feeling incredibly disturbed as I had only been on my first ever trip to Indonesia months before, and would have walked past that night club. Alas I soon forgot about it. Then I went to visit Bali with my now husband in 2009. We walked past the shrine that now stands in the place of the nightclub where so many Australians (and Indonesians among other nationalities) died. It was just on nightfall, and the shrine was bright from the lights that shone around it and flowers were laid everywhere. 

Something inside me felt.. dead. I could not explain it. But there was a deeper, spiritual, dead feeling inside me and I couldn't even swallow. I didn't think that seeing the memorial would make me feel this way but seeing it and being in it's presence, something was definitely going on! When I left I felt normal again. I never want to go back to Kuta to see it again. Thinking about how I felt that day still gives me chills.

Back to the song, I hadn't heard it in so long but the feelings it gave me are still so fresh. I got similar feelings when I heard the song Berita Kepada Teman by Ebiet G. Ade. It's about the Indonesian Tsunami. (Or at least it now is). I remember even crying because I felt so upset about the people who are now widows, orphans. I guess natural disasters have affected me as much as war.

Ahh. This blog post is a bit all over the place, sorry. I just heard this song and it struck something inside of me and I had to write. I don't even know if this makes sense. Oh well. Hit Publish. Now.

A handmade gift & Daddy's first Fathers Day

I'm pretty sure I've told you this before - in our house we don't worry about how much we spend on giving gifts. We do like to make things for each other.

Being Hendrik's first fathers day, Luke and I decided to make something special. In my mind it all seemed to make sense. But it didn't quite turn out how I intended.

Oh, no, Mum... Not more... Finger painting???

 

A simple terracotta pot from Bunnings

Clouds

Sun

grass

Must make lots of green paint - it's so hard to make the exact same shade twice if there's not enough!!

Luke wasn't too keen on 'finger painting' so we did toe-painting instead!

I helped out by doing some finger painting

"If fathers were flowers...

"... I'd choose YOU!"
(But clearly it should say pick, not choose! You pick flowers not choose them! Duh!)

I checked the forecast for Sunday and saw that it was going to a fantastic day! So I quickly suggested to Hendrik that we should have a picnic for fathers day (which I was almost certain he would agree to!). 

I then got a fantastic idea to get him one of those silicon BBQ hotplate covers - basically it's a cover you put over the BBQ so that you don't get the last persons bird poo all over what you cook! So it was off to Bunnings where Luke had his first real trolly ride!

I got him one of those scrapey BBQ things too. And a Solar Light. Daddy loves Solar lights.

My original plan was to spray varnish on the pot and plant some potted colour inside. The purpose of the varnish was to seal it and make it waterproof. But the lady at Bunnings said that it probably would make the acrylic paint run. Obviously I hadn't thought this through enough. The lady suggested something else that *may* work, but I thought it would be a waste to spend so much money on something I would only use once and could potentially also ruin our artwork. 

So it must be an inside pot now. Any suggestions of good inside pots? (Mum? Leanne???)

My secret hiding place - disguised as a box of 'too small' clothes!

Sorry for the two photos of the same thing - I simply could not choose which one of Luke was cuter!

Fathers day was excellent - I made Hendrik a scrambled egg breakfast with all the left overs in the fridge - Daddy loves eggs!

Fathers day was fun! Despite it being incredibly windy we did have a lot of fun going down to the park which was conveniently next to our local Coles and enjoying the sunshine and a great BBQ - something that we definitely will be doing a lot more of!

Daddy cooking our first family BBQ on his first ever Fathers Day

Luke enjoying the sunshine, fresh air and grass!