Made for more.

Ever since I can remember, I've been the fat kid. I always felt like I was the biggest in my class all through primary and high school. I was never the athletic kind, and really struggled to keep up in PE classes. My self esteem was pretty much at zero. I'd like to turn back the clock and tell my teenage self that I wasn't as disgustingly fat as I thought I was.

As long as I remember I've struggled with emotional eating. And when I say emotional, it didn't matter the emotion. I tried a few different diets, lasted on Weight Watchers for a week. I've been to many different gyms, in fact I joined a new one this week. The core issues always happened when I was alone, or placed in a testing environment where I would let myself go with foods with salty and sweet and processed goodness that would call my name.

I always tried my hardest at the gym every Monday night only to jeopardise my efforts to lose weight and centimetres by eating something in secret every week. 

Then I picked up this book called Made to Crave by Lysa Terkeurst. To be honest, when it comes to weight loss, there's a lot on the market, and it's a big industry for making money - from 12 week programs, to gyms, to protein shakes. And while often these things work for some (heck, I've seen amazing results from people I know!), I am yet to find one that deals so deeply with the emotional and spiritual issues arising from the vicious cycle of weight loss programs and the "I'll start again Monday" mentality.

I'd never thought as food as an 'idol'. Now before you get all "woaaah that's a bit too deep, heavy and spiritual" we need to assess what an 'idol' is. Honestly, this book will probably not make as much sense to you if you've never struggled with emotional eating. But for me, I had subconsciously made food into an idol. I turned to food, crappy food, into something I searched for joy, comfort and celebration in, when as a Christian, I should definitely place my those things in God! The first step for me to make a step in the right direction was to identify this was really what was going on in my heart - food was too big a priority. 

Made to Crave has equipped me with ways to do battle with the core issues of my weight loss, which are beyond numbers, all while finding my identity isn't bound by what I see on the scales.

I have so much to say about this book, but I'll leave it up to you to find out more. The real journey has begun.