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| January 1998, My first ever flight. Here's me and my sister at Melbourne Zoo |
I remember the feeling of being in the plane for the first time. I was young and wasn't scared. I remember as the plane raced down the runway and we became airborne, my sister and I squeeled in delight. My Mum had to explain to the concerned lady sitting in front of us that it was our first time flying. We were such country kids. I then began my own imaginary airline, "Sammy Airways".
I like listening to music when I fly. Not music on my iPod, music on the inflight 'radio'. I have a song for every trip.
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| Me, before stepping on that flight in 2007 |
I was on a Garuda flight from Melbourne to Denpasar. As we were climbing into the skies, I was happy and enjoying it. Then suddenly the plane began dropping. The whole plane screamed (except our fearless leader, Brendon, who I remember was laughing). The plane then caught it's momentum back and flied on like nothing had happened. On the return flight, there was a massive storm over south eastern Australia. Roofs-off-houses kind of massive. There was a massive amount of turbulence and the sprite I was drinking was flung into the air.
Suddenly, I had a love-hate relationship with flying. I loved the thought of flying, but I hated being in the air. I had a panic attack on a flight from Jakarta to Melbourne where I began crying uncontrollably. It was really embarrassing, both for Hendrik and I.
I took many flights since then, to Darwin, Adelaide, Sydney, New Zealand, but still I was really petrified of flying. I watched the movie, Bridesmaids, when they were on the plane. I began to get butterflies just by watching a movie about someone on a plane. I began to get obsessive about planes and accidents. I would never miss an episode of Air Crash Investigations on TV. Although in a way I think they helped me because they would always investigate the reason and show how they improved.
When I watched bridesmaids, I had since booked a flight to Singapore for our 'second' wedding. I was excited because we were going on the renowned Singapore Airways, and on my way home I would take the a380! But I was freaking out about it. I needed help.
So I saved some money and paid for some therapy. I went and saw a councillor at our church. I thought it would be a big session of "well, you must just trust God." But it wasn't. We talked about everything I have gone through, and then she came up with a conclusion that I fully agreed with. I wasn't afraid of flying. If I was afraid of flying, I wouldn't constantly be online searching ticket prices. No, I wasn't afraid of flying.. I was afraid of not being in control.
Being a parent is the same. I thought that having a baby would be textbook, that I'd understand his cries and that there was a reason for everything. Again I found myself in the same predicament: I wanted control and I couldn't have it.
Back to my fear of flying and how I overcome it, the councillor suggested that I focus on what I am in control of. For example, I could play with the tray table in front of me, I could flip through a magazine. I ended up taking a hair clip and opening it and shutting it. My other strategy is to take a crossword magazine and focus on that.
It's the same with raising a baby. You cannot always be in control. They will get sick, restless and poo. But there are things you can be in control of! I can be in control of loving my baby when he has a colicky scream. I can be in control of spending time with him and smiling at him. I am in control of hugging him and wiping away his tears (and wiping his bottom, and the poo off of me!).
... and soon, our worlds will colide. I'm taking my baby on a plane!
And now for a bit of fun... My playlist of flying music:
QF ADL-MEL 1998
Dario G - Sunchyme
QF COO-SYD-ADL 2000
Everclear - Wonderful
Tom Petty & The heartbreakers - Learning to fly
Lo-Tel - Teenager of the Year
GA MEL-DPS 2002
Sophie Ellis Bexter - Murder on the Dance floor
GA MEL-DPS 2007
Rhianna - Umbrella
QF DAR-ADL 2009
Live your life - T. I.
Let it Rock - Kevin Rudolf
Womanizer - Britney Spears
GA MEL-CGK 2009
Anggun - My man (for some reason this one is in French!)
Project Pop - Bukan Superstar
JQ MEL-AKL 2011
I'm coming home - Diddy Dirty Money feat. Skylar Grey
SQ MEL-SIN 2011
Sempurna - Nicholas Teo
JQ ADL-MEL 2011
Jetlag - Simple plan
You may think some of these songs are corny, but each one reminds me of flying and how I felt about going home or going to my destination.
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