Travelling buddy.

I'm slowly getting over my fear of flying.

The latest trip home required me to fly from Melbourne to Adelaide, then Mildura to Melbourne. It's safe to say that boarding calls are my weakness. While I'm nothing like I was, there is still an element of fear there. But instead of my mind going a thousand miles an hour, it's my body. My mind is sound, my body... speeds up it's metabolism.

While I went to Adelaide with Hendrik, the stretch home was just Luke and I. I have never flown with Luke solo before so I was a bit anxious about how I would cope. I think that of all my anxiety - I'm scared of being anxious and what the anxiety will cause me to do the most. (Can anybody relate? Please tell me I'm not alone here).

When we arrived at the airport, Mum took Luke in her arms while I dragged the case to the check-in counter. Checking-in at Mildura is so much less of a hassle because it is such a small airport. I think this helps with the anxiety. But then this happened...

The lady asked for my name, and then said, "Oh, that's right, I want to talk to you!" (that usually means something bad, right?). I had preselected seats for Luke and I in seat 5A up the front and next to the window. She proceeded to tell me that this was a pretty full flight and that in seat 5A there would undoubtedly be someone sitting next to me, but was happy to put me right up the back at 26A where I'd have two seats (small plane) to myself. I thought I'd cope better with the flight if I was closer to the front, but for the extra space and not fearing judgement because of travelling with Luke (did I mention a lady refused to sit next to us on the way to Adelaide because we had a 'baby' - who slept the whole way).

What a helpful and nice and thoughtful lady. Until..

"now, love, do you have proof of Luke's age?"

No. Nor had I ever been asked for it.

"Well you are getting him on for free!" She said in a really nice-yet-horribly-sarcastic tone of voice.

I explained to her that on previous occasions I had never needed ID for Luke (because we usually have the luxury of pre-check in or we're on a flight that requires a passport) and that I had just driven 3 hours, I repeat 3 hours so I could get to an airport to get home to Melbourne, where Luke's passport was, and that I'd have to come back on Tuesday so Hendrik could post it. Luckily after a bit of nice-arguing she let us off with a warning. Fun for an already anxious flyer.

When we finally said our fair-well's to Nanna and were on the flight and taxi-ing to the runway, I tried to engage Luke with car noises. As the plane roared down the runway Luke clung to me whimpering. The people looked at me with an "awwww" look.

When the seatbelt sign was off I removed Luke from the red infant seatbelt and let him look out the window.

"Waaaaow!"

I put him in the vacant seat next to me (winner!) and handed him a book. He read it almost copying me as I read the copy of Voyager in the seat pocket. We both finished the books and put them away. Luke sat in the seat and took my hand. Usually he takes my hand to use it as a teething ring. I waited for the bite, but instead he just sat there, drearily, with my hand in his. It was quite possibly one of the most special moments in my life.

You have fears, I have fears. But we're here together. I'm here for you Mum. We're in this together.